Jake's Therapy Sessions

A dick! Finally!　

msdramatica:

OCD should instead be abbreviated IIH. = I’m In Hell

saxymusician:

i need one more follower…my OCD is killing me right now….i can’t handle seeing an odd number….. it urks me….

baw your life is so hard

tell me more about a mental disorder you pretend to have to seem quirky and fish for followers.

Know what I don’t like?

Post traumatic stress relapses out of nowhere, after it not being there for a long time. 　

man101:

4) GO TO THE FUCKIN’ GYM!

This does not by any means insist that you should be some over achieving arrogant bastard who’s freakishly athletic. No. This is saying you should go to the fucking gym and lift some amount of weights. Why? You need to understand the difference between male and female anatomy.

Males generally have more muscle mass than females do by default. Bigger arms, bigger shoulders, narrow waists. Being biologically female, you have been set back quite a bit. You will still look more effeminate than even a skinnier guy because of how you are built, however this doesn’t have to be the case forever.

Please don’t assume that just because you’re going to get T means you’re going to pass just fine in the future. If you don’t work out you will still keep a feminine structure, just slightly masculinized. If you want to REALLY pass, you need to start working out BEFORE you start T, because this gives you a head start and will help you pass better early on. AFTER you’re on T, continue working out. You’ll probably look even better than most guys out on the street.

Work your upper body more than anything else. Your shoulders especially. If you have wide hips, you will have a hard time passing. Gain even wider shoulders, and it will offset your hips and you will appear much more masculine.

5) Penciled on facial hair.

…. who the fuck told you this was a good idea? Seriously, who the fuck told you? Are you HIGH? The only way this works is if people are looking at you from far away or in a very blurry photograph. Actually in photographs it’s extremely easy to notice.

Why? Why do you do this? It’s better to have NO facial hair then to pencil it on. Because at that point you honestly look like you’re faking something for a performance. Also, real facial hair doesn’t look like that, I’m sorry.

If anything, order the realistic theatrical stuff that you glue on. Seriously, do not pencil it on or else everyone will think you’re a crazy dyke or just some kind of stage performer.

6) Photos

Tumblr communities tend to have a lot of topless Tuesdays and things like that. Now there’s no reason to be ashamed of anything you have. Dysphoria or not you are a beautiful human being. But if you want to pass, and not give yourself (or other people!) more discomfort and dysphoria…

… DON’T FUCKING SHOW OFF YOUR BREASTS IN TOPLESS TUESDAY PHOTOS.

Again, it’s not because it’s SHAMEFUL, but it’s because it really unsettles others who are trying to look through it for inspiration. At least put a WARNING you know?

It also rubs in the fact that you are physically female and ruins your passing, even amongst other brothers.

Bind, hide them, or better yet WAIT on the topless Tuesdays. This isn’t really a “why you don’t pass”, but it felt necessary…

Jesus, are you my twin?

Love this blog.

man101:

Passing is difficult and we all know it. It’s even more difficult when you have no access to hormones and surgery. We do what we can: binding, packing, wearing clothes that hide the contours of our bodies and that’s all fine and good. But some of us still have a hard time passing. It may be the feminine proportions, your mannerisms, or maybe you do pass but some idiot always gives you away when you’re hanging out with female friends by saying words like “ladies” (oh man that’s the fucking worst).

However, lets look into it more. There is a lot you can do about passing. Here I’m going to list a lot of common stupid traits that many transmen have. If this offends you, it isn’t my problem if you can’t take honesty. If it doesn’t apply to you, then why would you care?:

1) The fuck are you wearing?

There is no individually defined style that a man must conform to. There are many clothing styles and subcultures to choose from and none of them are unmanly. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that just because you’re a goth or a rocker that you’re “unmanly”. That’s stupid.

HOWEVER! You will look unmanly if you have no idea how to wear your clothes. For example, many people like to wear tank tops. Don’t. We can see your fuckin’ bitch tits. Unless you bind really well, do not wear a tank top. It sucks, it’s really painful, but you currently don’t have the proper endowments and there’s no reason to be in denial of that. Either bind really well or wear a t-shirt AND NOT A V-CUT unless you’re a small chested fellow.

A lot of dudes like to wear skinny jeans. This is not unmanly and is fine if you’re actually skinny. There would be nothing wrong if you were pudgy and in skinny jeans, but unfortunately it gives you away very fast. When you’re pudgy, there is more fat on your legs and thighs, and it shows the curvature more. So don’t do it until your fat has redistributed from T or you have other masculine factors to distract from it. If you can pull of skinny jeans, for God’s sake wear a packer! A lot of guys don’t pack, which is fine, but skinny jeans are meant to show your junk. If you’re able to wear skinny jeans, not show your junk, and actually not look like you’re in pain… you’re gonna have a hard time passing.

On the other end of this spectrum, there are guys who wear baggy clothing. This is great, too. Personally I prefer baggy to tight any day. However, this can ruin your passing experience as well. I’ve noticed smaller guys wear clothes that are too big, and bigger guys wear clothes that are too small. If you’re 5’1” and 100 pounds, you should not be wearing a giant shirt that drags down to your knees. You look like you’re drowning in that thing and it looks STUPID. If you’re 5’5” and 230 pounds, you should wear something baggy enough to hide your curvature (binding is tough when you’re chubby, I know). Don’t wear something that literally makes your boobs stretch out. While fat cis-men do have breasts, none of them have it so visibly large in comparison to their stomachs.

2) Nice buzzcut, butch!

Jeez, I wonder how many people are going to be chasing me out of my house with torches and pitchforks for this one. I think the title of this section actually explains itself. This is one of the things that actually pisses me off to no end.

DON’T CUT YOUR HAIR SO DAMN SHORT. You look like a LESBIAN. A lesbian is a GIRL. YOU ARE NOT A GIRL, YOU ARE A MAN.  Unfortunately, some of you are NOT blessed with the masculine face you think you have (some of you are, but clearly I am not talking to you). I’m sorry, dude, but when your hair is so damn short, everyone can see the feminine contours of your face. What’s worse is some of you who have this accursed haircut have extremely long eyelashes, which is a perfect red flag for someone to call you young lady.

If you are lucky enough to be able to pull off short hair and have a very masculine face, then congrats. However, most of you don’t. This does not mean you have to get long hair, but don’t get a buzzcut. You don’t look male, you look like a girl who’s trying so hard to not seem feminine. There are many short hairstyles that don’t have this effect. Examine your face and see what’s best for you.

Oh and speaking of hair… THAT FAUXHAWK MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. Actually, fauxhawks also make you look effeminate and not pass. How do I know? Some cis-men are mistaken for girls from having that accursed hairstyle. It just generally speaking looks bad, however that part is just an opinion, no need to get your balls in a knot.

3) Lose the girly behaviors.

((UNLESS YOU ARE A FEMBOY, in which case this is excused. Except remember that most femboys are mistaken for girls because they pull off the effeminate qualities well, don’t take that to heart. It’s normal.))

For those of us who aren’t femboys… I don’t even know what to say about this one. It seriously brings my piss to a boil everytime I see a YouTube video that’s titled “I CAN’T PASS”. At first I often feel bad, and decide to watch it. Then it turns out it’s some idiot crying about how they don’t pass when they sound so girly that they make Chris Crocker look like Hulk Hogan.

Again there is nothing wrong with being a man who’s effeminate, but if you claim you’re masculine then what the hell are you doing? Bash me all you like but saying “psh”, “like”, huffing and rolling your eyes whenever something discomforts you is NOT masculine. Limp wristing is cute, but it’s not masculine. When you’re amused and go “TEE HEEE HEEE” when you giggle is not masculine (actually it’s rather creepy). This can all be put aside as the standards for masculinity vary per person, I respect that. However, this is for people who want to pass as a man, not be politically correct. You are still an individual and there is no pressure to be macho or anything, it may not be who you are. If you’re a man, you’d have the balls to try and make an effort. Although honestly masculinity should come naturally to someone who claims they are. If you’re forcing it, then maybe it’s not who you are.

Just be wary that you already have a female body, therefore acting feminine will incline people to think you are female. Even if you do dress otherwise. Which you are not, as trans people actually have a male brain structure. If you like speaking/acting the way you do, hormones can help, however they may not always help you pass.

You don’t need to wait until you’re on testosterone to speak like you want to pass. In fact, most men on testosterone still speak from the nasal passage, and then they also wonder why they don’t pass. Remember, women typically speak from the nasal passage and speak very quickly. Men speak slowly and from the diaphragm.

While it is true cis men do speak from the nasal passage as well, they usually speak slowly. If they speak quickly, too, they pass because they’ve had testosterone in their system for most of their lives. In order for testosterone to take it’s full effect, you need to be on it for a long time. So if you’re only a year on it and want to keep your girly mannerisms, don’t expect to pass. The hormone hasn’t completely renovated you just yet.

Point being, if you’re a masculine man, then act like it. Don’t sit there crying and wondering how you don’t pass.

Stay tuned for Part II.